Being a real person is exhausting. I am not entirely sure I like it, though I have not yet chosen to dislike it. This subject clearly needs a more comprehensive investigation. At the moment I have two jobs and I might be getting hired for two more. My life consists of work, the gym, reading, […]
I think I might be turning into a real person. I find the lack of long-term stability in my “jobs” comforting enough that I can still consider myself only vaguely employed. But this week, for example, I’m working over 40 hours between my mall-job and my job telling kids to stay away from drugs and […]
Last night I was watching television and a re-run of “What I Like About You” came on that ended with Val and Holly throwing chocolate cake batter all over the place. All I could think was, “Fuck, I really want brownie batter right now. Real bad.” So I changed the channel. I spent 30 minutes […]
Things are reaching a new level of absurd. At present, working at my mom’s art gallery (very) part-time is still my only job. I have had four consecutive days off and I am running out of ways to fill them. On Tuesday I actually yelled at my mother when she wanted to borrow my car […]
My parents’ willingness to harbor me seemingly indefinitely has allowed me to only apply for jobs I actually want, which makes rejection sting that much more. It has even reached a point where I actually appreciate rejection emails, since so many people don’t even bother with that. The fact that I get so excited about […]
Things I Dislike Right Now: Scientology commercials The “Cardio Dance Party” class at my gym Shia LaBeouf The distance between my house and the county fair What I find most bothersome about the Scientology commercials is the fact that when I see them in the haze of my bullshit existence, I start to think, “Wow. […]
Today I was rudely awoken at 10:45 by a phone call from my mother requesting that I go pick up my dog and then go into work for her. My dog is afraid of leaving the house, and his hours at the vet having his nasty dreadlocks shaved off and getting shots did not calm […]
One day I was sitting at work telling a long story about the ridiculous thing that happened to me on my way to work that day and I realized that this is what I do basically every single day. I’m not really sure what the story was on that particular day — I think it was the […]