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There is no funnel cake in the International Media Circus

December 1, 2011

My phone rings and I know it’s my mom – she’s the only one who has my house phone. Well, her and the automated French recording that calls every so often. “Derrik was arrested in Cairo.” “Wait, what!?” It was a short phone call – she wanted to make sure that I heard it from [...]

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Graduate school and drowning have more in common than you might think.

October 10, 2011

Graduate school is structured to demoralize you. By design, it takes a gaggle of people who have long had a certain level of confidence in their ability to tackle academic pursuits, and kicks them in the knees, then spits on their faces. In theory, if you withstand the abuse, it does something really nice to [...]

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Clumsiness Is Not Cute

October 6, 2011

Romantic comedies and Disney have told us so many lies and given us so many misguided expectations that I could easily dedicate an entire blog to breaking these struggles down one by one. Suffice it to say that reality is thoroughly disappointing. I am slapped in the face with the inaccuracy of one particular lie [...]

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Public Humiliation: Childhood Edition

July 20, 2011

I keep changing my tagline because I still don’t know what I’m doing with this blog and because I like to pretend that anyone other than me might actually care. Also on the list of bloggy-things-that-only-I-care-about, I redesigned the page now that I have this supremely amazing-but-not-really new tagline that I will change nineteen times [...]

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Awkward times in a corn field. With feathers.

June 13, 2011

I really enjoy a good awkward moment when I have a friend present to witness it. Sometimes there are amazingly awkward moments that make me think, “I’ve always wanted to do this, I just didn’t know it.” A couple weeks ago I drove to the middle of a corn field in Illinois to spend a [...]

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April Adventures, Part 3: Yvonne LeHead

April 14, 2011

And then there was Sunday. If this upcoming weekend weren’t Coachella, I might just say it’s time for me to pack up the April Adventures, because I’m not sure how I could ever top this. Although, I am posting this days after writing it — probably from my phone at a truck stop somewhere in [...]

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April Adventures, Part 1: “I think we just need to grab rhinestones and then we’re good to go.”

April 4, 2011

I love birthdays. It’s not the whole “Oh let’s celebrate me” aspect. I mean, fine, I joke with my mom and sister that their excitement over my birth should flow over into weeks of celebration because a single day couldn’t possibly contain it. But a holiday is a holiday. My freshman roommate had a September [...]

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St. Patrick’s Day 2011, take 1.

March 16, 2011

I have a friend who we shall call Vodka. I’ve already talked about my former roommate named Vagina, and I have a blog, so it is inevitable that I should also have a friend named Vodka. I scoured the interwebs in search of the picture that really ought to be our “friendship” picture on Facebook, [...]

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Time Management

February 24, 2011

I think I had this idea that once I graduated from college, I would become an adult. Once I moved my tassel to the other side of my hat, a panoply of my most immature shortcomings would miraculously disappear. It didn’t happen that way. So then I thought, “Well that’s because they haven’t mailed me [...]

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Bruised knees are better than bruised egos

September 24, 2010

Being a real person is exhausting. I am not entirely sure I like it, though I have not yet chosen to dislike it. This subject clearly needs a more comprehensive investigation. At the moment I have two jobs and I might be getting hired for two more. My life consists of work, the gym, reading, [...]

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